This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
