HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
