The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
