did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
