Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Randomize
