seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
