Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
