so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Girls should come with a carfax report
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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