I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
