just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
