Well apparently he's into motor boating.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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