I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
