when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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