My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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