after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
