Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
