She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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