addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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