i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
