Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
