Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
