Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
