You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
