Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
