In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
