My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
