I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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