eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
