Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
