the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
