Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
