It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
