It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
