so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
