...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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