I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
