This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
