I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
