Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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