now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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