she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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