wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
