Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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