Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
