All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
