the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
