Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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