He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
