I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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