his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
God I need to hump something, right now.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
