all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
