captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
