dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
