This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
