still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
