I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Randomize
