so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
