She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
