just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
