It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
