So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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