I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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