it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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