I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
