i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
