You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
